Happy Birthday Alex
by Godlovesme
Summary: Sailor Pepsi is Alex Alex. Sailor Venus is crazy... Luna is a gerbil.. this is a very stupid useless story.


Author's Note: All I can say is this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: In no way do I even come close to owning Sailormoon. I'm not even Japanese. Yeeesh  
  
Happy Birthday Sailor Pepsi.  
  
"I will punish you," Sailormoon screamed over the loud growling of the latest monster called Pikachu, a large type rat type thing that was only capable of saying one thing: Who's your daddy?  
  
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY!" Pikachu screamed.  
  
"Listen pal, under no circumstances am I ever going to tell you my fathers name, so shut it!" Sailor moon yelled.  
  
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!!!!" Pikachu screamed once more.  
  
"Ok, you know what? Die, just die." Sailor moon got fed up and threw her freaky little tiara at the Pikachu, who died instantly.  
  
"Well that was pretty easy," Luna the talking gerbil said.  
  
"Wait . . aren't you supposed to be a talking cat?" Sailormoon asked Luna.  
  
"Do I look like a talking cat?" Luna asked.  
  
"Well . . . no. . .actually. . .no you don't," Sailormoon observed.  
  
"Well there you go, obviously I'm not a stupid cat." Luna sniffed.  
  
"Where is she? Where is my beautiful purple cat lover?" A white cat came scurrying around the corner.  
  
"No purple cat here Artemis," A blonde haired girl said.  
  
"Dammit, where did she run off to?" The cat asked.  
  
". . . I have a purple gerbil," Sailormoon said.  
  
"Pffft, well that doesn't help me," He said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Who are you anyways?" The blonde girl asked Sailormoon.  
  
"I'm sailormoon!" Sailormoon said and posed dramatically.  
  
"Oh, I'm sailor Venus, we work with Sailor Pepsi who is our brave and courageous leader." Sailor venus nodded reverently.  
  
"Weird . . . I thought I was supposed to be the leader . . ." Sailor moon pondered for a second.  
  
"yah,. . . well you also thought I was a purple cat," Luna pointed out.  
  
"Hmm. . . goood point." Sailormoon smiled and shook Sailor Venus's hand.  
  
"So, what is your identity when you're not Sailormoon?" Sailor Venus asked.  
  
"I'm Usagi Tsukino," Usagi smiled.  
  
"Ahh, I am Minako (insert Japanese last name here), Mina for short though," Mina smiled back.  
  
"So, where is this courageous leader of yours?" Usagi asked Mina.  
  
"She's in her burrow." Mina said.  
  
"Her burrow?" Luna asked.  
  
"Yah. You have a problem with that?" Mina started getting all defensive.  
  
"Oh no, Luna has no problems, right Luna?" Usagi glared at Luna.  
  
"No, oh no, I'm just a small innocent Gerbil." Luna nodded.  
  
"Ahh ok." Everyone nodded.  
  
"Soo. . . . will you take us to this burrow?" Sailormoon asked.  
  
"Yah, sure why not. TO SAILOR PEPSI'S BURROW WE GO!!!!!" Mina pointed towards the ground.  
  
"You mean we're standing right on top of it?" Luna asked.  
  
"Umm just a sec," And mina took two steps to the left and one forward.. . . "Ok now we're standing right on top of it."  
  
"Riiiiiigggghhhhhhttttttt . . . ."  
  
`````````=`=`=`=`=  
  
"Where's my number two scout?" Sailor pepsi screamed.  
  
"Dunno," Sailor mars shrugged.  
  
"Pffffft. Go away no one likes you." Sailor pepsi said.  
  
"Yah. . . well. . . . ok." And sailor mars went away.  
  
*knock knock knock *  
  
"Come in!!!" Sailor pepsi screamed.  
  
"It's me your number two scout!" Sailor Venus yelled from outside the door.  
  
"I said come in dammit," Sailor Pepsi screamed.. . . once again.  
  
"Right coming," And sailor venus came in the door.  
  
"I brought some visitors," Sailor venus gestured to sailor moon and luna.  
  
"you brought outsiders to MY burrow?" Sailor Pepsi was outraged.  
  
"Ummm . . . yah. . .Is that a problem?" Sailor venus asked.  
  
"I don't know. . . does she have a purple gerbil?" Sailor Pepsi asked.  
  
"Umm. . . yes"  
  
"Then of course it's not okay. If she had a purple cat. Then it would be ok, but a gerbil? What kind of wild house do you think we're running. . . I mean burrow. That gerbil could annihilate us all dammit, were you even thinking? Were you even using a miniscule part of your brain?" Sailor Pepsi ranted.  
  
"Um. . . I like Harry Potter."  
  
*smack *  
  
"Ow,"  
  
"That's for bringing the gerbil into my burrow." Sailor Pepsi said.  
  
"I'm sorry,"  
  
"Yah yah sure sure, that's what they all say. And it's only because they do not want to be placed into. . . THE UNDEGROUND LAIR OF EVILNESS NESS NESSSSSSSSSSSSS.  
  
"Oh. . . is that why?" Sailor venus hit her head on the wall. .  
  
"Yes that's why! Now, you . . .who are you?" Sailor Pepsi asked Usagi.  
  
"I am Sailormoon, aka Usagi, aka Serena aka Meatball head," Usagi bowed to such a great leader.  
  
"Interesting, I am Sailor Pepsi, and I am the leader of these scouts. Sailor Venus, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Mercury." Sailor Pepsi introduced her scouts who entered the room at their names. . . well except for Sailor Mars, she was told to go away.  
  
"This is my Gerbil, Luna," Sailormoon pointed to her cat.  
  
"Hello Luna, I trust you won't go on any rampages inside my burrow?"  
  
"Nope, no gerbil fighting rampages."  
  
"Good, I am also known as Alex, Alex Alex." Sailor Pepsi said. . . eerie music playing in the back ground.  
  
"Your first name is the same as your last name?" Sailormoon asked.  
  
"Hmm.. . . yes. . . " Sailor Pepsi examined her nails.  
  
"Oh,"  
  
"It would make it very difficult if she went to Hogwarts, they would want to call her by her last name, but couldn't. . . ." Sailor Venus ranted on.  
  
"Right, someone kill her," Alex said.  
  
"I will," A red haired lady stepped into the room.  
  
"Who are you?" Sailor Pepsi asked.  
  
"I am Queen Beryl," Queen Beryl said.  
  
"Oh, well ok," Sailor Pepsi said.  
  
"Right, KA BOOEY!" Queen Beryl screamed and Sailor Venus died, peacefully of course . . .dreaming of Harry Potter and free stickers at the sticker store.  
  
"Very good, now if you would kindly go away;. . ." Sailor Pepsi motioned towards the door.  
  
"alrighty," Queen Beryl sighed dejectedly. . . all she wanted was to be accepted and loved.. . . so she went away and killed herself.  
  
"So, what exactly do you do Sailor Pepsi?" Sailor moon asked.  
  
"Me? I drink pepsi, I thought that was evident by the oh so evident name of Sailor Pepsi. . ." Sailor Pepsi was getting fed up. . . with cheesecake. Ooer.  
  
"Oh, well that's always good. I fight evil." Sailor moon said proudly.  
  
While everyone in the room laughed at her.. . .  
  
"Why even fight them? There's no way the bad guy could ever win, eventually they're going to screw up on their own accord. What's the point in trying to stop what's never going to happen anyways?" They all laughed.  
  
"Umm. . . that's a good point."  
  
"I know, I'm the all wise Alex Alex."  
  
"ALL PRAISE ALEX ALEX."  
  
And they did.  
  
The End  
  
Merry Christmas,  
  
Happy birthday Alex. 


End file.
